A few days ago a colleague of mine had asked for a ride to work and back. Enjoying some company on a long trip home we now share the ride vtow days a week, and when you are in a car together for about four hours a day, you start sharing a bit about your life.
It being a work related colleague at first you try to keep things general but when all general subjects have been covered and a few remarks here and fhere reveil some common interest, I found myself talking to him about his past as a jehovah witness and my work around religion. We ended up in a very fascinating discusion about his study of the bible and my more gnostic interests and research.
And as one thing leads to another I ended up sharing a lot about my view on our brain, the things I share in the LifeChanger trainig and about the role of emotions, the heart and intelligence on our consciousness and much more. And all in a very casual way without trying to convince or enlighten..but just to share my passion.
At the end of our trip i drove the last miles home alone realizing what a fascinating conversation we had had about his passion and me sharing mine. In the silence that remained I realized that I had for a little while lost that passion because of general sortings of rent, bills, organization and more. I suddenly remembered there was important information that is ready to be share about how subtle mind manipulation is (even in spirituality ) and how my research can help you easily detach from it once you are ready to let go.
It felt like seeing an old friend after many years. i suddenly was connected again to that what I believe in and what I hold dear. A confidence I had lost somewhere. i almost felt like saying . ” aah, there you are!!”
In all follow up muddle of the mind after the Artic and the decision to follow the flow to our new ‘palace’, I remembered the reason why I am doing this. And I don’t mean the obvious reason that Light is such an important factor, but the knowledge of what the freedom of mind can bring. How much I enjoy sharing this knowledge but most of all…I remembered: I DO have something to say!!!
Perhaps the insecurities that run so deeply in my system had gotten more hold on me through mud and rejection up North then I had anticipated. And, as per usual, had it taken these months of integration to come to the point of rebalancing myself in my mission.
Or perhaps just because sharing your passion, creates a stronger field of passion. Or maybe by chance… Or luck… Or my some crazy timing.
Whatever the reason, it has made me very aware of how troubling insecurities can be and how, veiled and all, they can enter your mind like an untraceble drug. Anoyingly addicting, unnoticibly subtle but extremely limiting the mind ….
I feel the next chapter of selflessness starting with dealing with unfounded and limiting thoughts about your talents …because a takent should perhaps be not as much be about what your good at…but what brings you joy…and brings you back in connection with thatp what you know.
I know i DO have something to say…to share…and to tell…it might mean the world to some…and nothing to others,,,but all that matters is that I believe it is worth sharing….not because it is truth or important…but because I enjoy sharing it.